Total Drama Meets Advertising
by WriterOfTheSky
Summary: Random mini-drabbles based on commercials and products. Prepare to die of laughter.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N After reading I'll Cover Angel And Collins's Like a good neighbor, state farm is there fanfic, I decided to make a collection of commercial-based drabbles. All credit goes to Angels. I don't own any of these commercials or companies.**

"Oxi Clean- Gets The Tough Stains Out, Fast!"

"Liars," Mike muttered, frowning at the red cherry-ice cream stain on his jeans.

...

"Hey, Dad," Jo asked, looking up from her history homework. "I'm having brunch with Jessica, that girl on my track team."

"Who?" he asked.

"Jessica. You know, brunette, short, big nose..."

"Who?"

"Seriously, you've met her like three times."

"Who?"

Jo groaned and resumed her homework. Some Dads just weren't so wise.

...

"The Ulimate Detangling Brush removes all tangles, with no pain or ripped strands!"

"Yeah right!" Zoey yelled angrily, staring at her Detangling Brush, which was full of hundreds of red strands of hair.

...

"Hots Huez! Instant vibrant color that stays!"

"Fuck this," Gwen threw the small hair chalk container on the counter and walked out of the room, nose in the air.

...

"Flip, Flip, Flip your Flipeez!"  
"It doesn't work!" Cameron whined, as his stuffed animal hat failed to move when he pulled at the fabric.

...

"The Fisher Price Kid-Tough Waterproof Camera!"

Sierra fell to her knees and cried as her baby-pink camera sparked after falling in the sink.

...

"NO! STAY WITH ME, STUFFED FRIEND!" Brick screamed in panic as his Flashlight Friend began to flicker.

...

Dawn was tramatized for life when her birdhouse made from a Birdhouse Kit from Home Depot collasped on the family of birds who had nested there.

...

Scott uttered every curse word he knew when his Expandable Hose failed to expand to the other side of the house.

...

B looked pissed as his Air Hogs Helicopter fell to the ground after five seconds of being airborne. He shrugged and went to continue building his jet.

...

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'MY PASSWORD JOURNAL WON'T OPEN'!?" Heather screamed as she said the password over and over. The pre-recorded fail message played on an infinate loop- "FUCK YOU!"

...

Mr. Coconut kept that dopey grin as his skin still flaked after using the Dove Beauty Bar over 30 times.

...

"NO!" Harold screamed as his Nerf Gun jammed. He reluctantly accepted his fate as a fellow nerd hit him with a foam sword.

...

"YOU BETTER GET ON MY BEAUTIFUL CURVES, YOU FABRIC FROM HELL!" Leshawna screeched as she tried in vain to tug on her One Size Fits All Jeans.

...

Cody screamed as he spat the Juicy Drop Pop candy liquid from his mouth. "IT LOOKED SO MUCH EASIER IN THE COMMERCIAL!"

...

**Okay, that last one was inspired by Total Drama Drabbles. If you review, I'll write more.**

**Okay, I'll write regardless, but still. It helps to have inspiratation.**

**Oh, and if you go to the Ultimate Detangling Brush website, in the corner it asks if you're ordering from Canada. I find that unintentionally hilarious. **

**As I said before, I do not own these companies. Just making sure I can't be sued because I'm writing these things LOL**


	2. Chapter 2

**TOLD YOU REVIEWS WOULD MOTIVATE ME!**

**GiLaw helped me write this. YOU GO GURL! :) She gave me the ideas 4 some of these. Oh, and you can PM me your ideas, readers! I may use them!**

**...**

"OH NO!" Owen screamed, dropping the cupcake from his Girl Gourmet Cupcake Maker. "I'VE TASTED A FOOD I ACTUALLY DIDN'T LIKE!" He then proceeded to smash the machine. "CURSE YOU, YOU CUPCAKE MANGLER FROM HELL!"

...

"This better work..." Mike slathered his face in all the Proactive cream he could find.

Three Hours Later...

"FUCK!" Mike stared at the mirror in disgust, seeing the small zits still dotting his forehead. "How the hell am I going to go out on a date with Zoey NOW?!"

...

"Cmon, put on your shoes!" Lindsay tried to put a pair of sparkly high-heeled shoes on her Barbie doll. "Please?" She used all her might to try to shove the plastic feet inside the shoes. Inhaling deeply, she gave one final push. The shoe went flying and managed to lodge itself inside her nose.

"Ew, ew, ew, EW! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! TYYYYLLLEEERRRRRR!"

...

"I can't believe I got this for Christmas." Noah placed the Furby on his dresser. "Okay, erm, I command you to speak!" He waved his hand in front of the doll.

The toy stayed motionless.

"I said, 'SPEAK!'" Noah yelled, annoyed. "THAT IS A COMMAND!" It remained still.

"Ha, ha, very funny. NOW FRIGGIN' TALK!" The doll gave a surprisingly human-like snicker.

"Oh, you fucked with the wrong guy!" Noah screamed in rage. "I'LL GET YOU TO TALK BY THE POWER INVESTED IN MY HELLISH MIND! YOU! WILL! RESPOND!" He stormed away.

"Merry Christmas, Noah," The toy muttered evilly as soon as he was out of earshot.

...

"Tell me, Ouija Board," Dawn asked, her face lit by the ghostly candlelight, "What is my future?"

The pointer began to move, and she eagerly copied down the letters on a piece of paper as they were indicated. When it was done, she stared in horror at the message-

**GO FUCK YOURSELF**

"That is NOT funny, spirits!" she spat, upset. "Please, show some respect! This is ridiculous!"

The pointer moved again, and Dawn copied down the letters reluctantly. The message was as follows-

**JUST LIKE YOUR MOM**

"THAT'S IT! I'M RETURNING THIS!" Dawn gathered up the receipt and fortune teller and shoved them back in the box, fuming.

...

"See, Molly, this is a doll that swims!" Zoey's little cousin clapped happly as Zoey lowered the Baby Swims-A-Lot toy into the water. It seemed to work fine, until it slowed a bit. It became clear very soon why it was so doll began to writh, spark, and finally sank, giving slow cries as it dissapeared into the dark depths of the pool.

"Oh, um, let's go on the water slide!" Zoey quickly led her tramatized cousin away from the site of the incident. The young girl began to cry. "I WANT MY DOLLY! GET THE LIFE GUARD!"

...

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO BUY THOSE CHEAP CONDOMS, ALEJANDRO!" Heather screamed, feeling another contraction coming on. "I HAD A BAD FEELING ABOUT THAT DAMN COMPANY!"

...

Mal looked up and saw the other personalities sniggering uncontrolling at him. "What? What is it?"

"You- You listen to," Svet gasped, trying to catch her breath from all the laughter, "H-Hannah Montanna?" She collasped again.

"WHA- WHAT!?" Mal shrieked, mortified. "THE PACKAGE SAID THE HEADPHONES HAD ABSOLUTELY NO NOISE LEAK! WTF?"

...

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


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